Pointless drivel

Ugh, I haven't done anything with this blog forever, it seems. The last wee has been so completely draining that I haven't been able to come up with anything worth writing about. Politics is not really my thing; I save that for my husband. There's really been nothing noteworthy or eventful, unless you count my 4-5 days of cleaning out the old house, which has been both physically and emotionally draining.

The cats are still in the house and they need taken somewhere, which may very well end up being a regular shelter since all the no-kills are apparently booked all the way up to three months in advance; either that, or they're only taking sick or injured animals. I guess I can only hope.

I did manage to score my old job back, though. I'm glad, because I really do hate not working. Not only do I feel vulnerable not making any money, but I have a tendency to get bored easily. Many a time have I contemplated being a stay-at-home mom, but even if we had the resources, I couldn't do it. I'm not one that can be stuck in the house with kids all day; as much as I admire those who can do that, I have a problem with patience and have to get away, if only for a couple hours. So it's a relief to be working again (always assuming I pass the drug test, LOL). The job description kinda sucks, but the people I worked with were great, and needless to say I'm familiar with the surroundings.

I suppose I was to learn some profound life lesson, moving to the house and back again, but I have yet to figure out what that is. Maybe there wasn't one, maybe it was just bad luck; or maybe it will become clearer as I move on and am not so involved in it now. Yes, we made mistakes, and we're learning from them. No, living with parental figures again is not an absolute thrill for me. For now, though, it's almost a refuge; a chance to get back on our feet, to get J through school and on to something better, and maybe, just maybe, I'll figure out a little more about my own self, too.

I'm 23 years old, married, have a one-year-old and another munchkin on the way, and still don't really have a shittin' clue about what I want to do with myself, other to be a good mother and a loving, supportive spouse. I want more for myself than just that, but I'm not very good at figuring out just what my niche is. I can't say how much I've really strayed from what I imagined my life would be like, because I really couldn't imagine it at any point. I've been the kind of person to take things as they come, but I want goals, too. I feel like I lack motivation and drive to attain any goals, but when they're so unclear, I don't have anything to add fuel to. I feel like I'm kind of just...stuck.

I don't know. I'm done rambling.

scooters?

I still have to do the six random things meme. I didn't forget about it!

Sloth...LOL

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Very Low

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Earache

I wish I knew what was up with my child screeching and squealing at the top of his lungs--whether he's angry or not. Half the time he can't speak what he babbles in a normal tone of voice. He has to scream it. It's enough to give me an earache after awhile!

We got all our stuff moved but we're far from unpacked. Bobby's crib isn't even put together yet, he's sleeping in a portable crib that the in-laws have. We managed to get all of our furniture in but the room is cluttered with a bunch of other stuff. I'm hoping to have most of it done by the end of the week but I am not holding my breath.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today would have been my father's 51st birthday. I still can't believe he's already been gone for 2 1/2 years. In some ways it feels like it wasn't long ago at all, but in other ways it feels like it's been ten years...because what has happened since then should take about 10 years for the average person.

I was still living at home with him when he died. Afterward, I was on my own by default. Sure, I could have moved in with my mom, and it was tempting at times, but I had a life up here; although I was still living at home I had a full-time job, had my own circle of friends, and still had a place to live. If I had moved in with my mom, things would have turned out very different; as it was, let's take a look at what all did happen:

• Had a roommate move in, which didn't work out since she never paid me anything. Four, five months maybe, and I never saw a dime.
• I met J in June of 2006, only four months after my dad passed. Three weeks later, we were engaged. Quick, I know, but I think it's turned out all right :)
• August of 2006, kicked the roommate out.
• October of 2006, we got knocked up, which forced us to move our wedding date from May to March, giving us two months less time.
• March of 2007, we got married.
• Four months later our first son was born.
  
• I returned to work eight weeks later, in September; only to go from full-time to part-time, and eventually deciding to quit in November because...
• We moved to Lincoln that same month, deciding we couldn't afford to live up there anymore; I would be working solely to pay for childcare, whereas my mom could watch the baby while I worked.
  
• I changed into a totally different field of work, which I ended up loving for awhile, until some certain things happened.
• June 2008, and I'm officially knocked up again.
• I ended up quitting my job in mid-July due to some work-related issues, serious enough that I did not feel good about working there.
  
• We decided that it was in our best interest to move back up to the Peoria area, with Jason going to school and the exceedingly high price of gas, not to mention our exceedingly high energy bill at the house we were living in.
• So here we are, moving tomorrow.

Okay, now that might not seem like a lot; for some people that's probably nothing. Before my dad died, though (which really seems to be the first major turning point in my life), my life was, well, slow. I used to think life was so complicated then, whether I was having "guy troubles" or didn't know what I wanted to do with my life or even who I was. If only I knew then what I know now.

Of course, if I had known then, maybe I wouldn't feel as lucky as I do now. I think I've turned out all right.

Just messin' around

Seeing how to post pictures and whatnot on here:

The poor kid after his birthday weekend, I think it wore him out.

Well, isn't that just handy-dandy.

That is all.

If you're happy and you know it...

My son is finally learning to clap his hands, after 2-3 months of prompting him. Mostly he would just giggle at us or put his hands over ours as we showed him how to do it. Today he started trying to do it on his own. It was funny because half the time he would miss and his arms would end up crossing over :)

It was sooo cute!